What does the word mature mean to you and what bible verse comes to you when you think of it?
One thing that comes to mind is focus. When I hear maturity, I think focus. Like everything else in our lives, Jesus serves as the perfect example because of how focused He was on pleasing the father.
Maturity is being wise and it comes from listening to messages, facing difficulties and overcoming challenges that grow us into being solid adults. So as fresh converts and new believers, we were not mature. Our focus on the new found faith helps us grow.
In my understanding, the most essential piece to maturity is being able to live your life transparently before a more mature believer and being able to watch a more mature believer’s life with the intention to learn.
I think exposure to their life and their exposure to your life is the most efficient way to accelerate your growth because without that exposure, a lot of practicality and what it looks like to walk with God can be lost in the dialogue.
That’s why Jesus lived with his disciples. He knew his lifestyle was more effectively transferred by living with his disciples, and I believe that having such community is the secret behind the success of the early church. They were able to see the lifestyle of their leaders and learn from it.
I think that’s the greatest key to maturing. If someone wants to mature, they should look for someone more mature to follow. I think that would be a very helpful key. It’s not everything, but it helps.
You never outgrow this; you always need it. Timothy did not outgrow it and he was doing so well in ministry.
Luke 2:52 comes to mind because it emphasized on Jesus growing in favour before God and men. Even Jesus had to grow through seasons, emotionally and mentally. It was not just about memorizing scriptures.
Reflect on your walk with God up until now. What factors would you consider most important in your growth process?
After my salvation, I had people who deserted me but this loneliness drove me to the presence of God. The circumstances around which I got saved made me desperate to know more of God and so I spent much time alone with God. I was also accountable to more mature christians and spent time with them frequently. Reading my bible daily and the BCF discipleship program teachings were helpful in my growth.
What were your initial struggles when you gave your life to Christ?
It was a bittersweet experience but being with God has been of great relief to me. Growing up through high school, I struggled to be comfortable in my skin. I didn’t think that God’s love was special because ‘everybody’ has God’s love so, I needed affirmations from other people.
I cared so much about how people perceived me so, becoming a Christian and having all that go away was really hard because I felt like looking at Christ was probably the last thing that would get me approval. I struggled with that until I became comfortable in my skin. And I won’t deny that it took quite a while.
Of course, I knew I had found a friend who would listen to me at all times but, I still struggled with an identity crisis. I had difficulties staying away from my old friends and our usual kind of lifestyle.
Even worse was my battle with sexual sin. I had a girlfriend before I met Christ so after my encounter, I went through a lot of temptations as she was keen on making me go back to my old ways.
I also dealt with drinking, smoking and partying.
How were you able to overcome them?
It was a work of grace. My biggest answer is that the Lord was progressively removing the desire for these people in my life. From the first day I was saved it was a struggle but my mind was so made up. I was not the same person anymore so I knew I could not hang around with unbelieving friends.
What I did practically was always listen to a sermon. I didn’t have brethren or fellowships in person for nearly a year and a half, so, I was always on the phone. I had to do fellowships on my cell phone and people can attest that they were receiving regular calls from me in Virginia, Maryland, and North Carolina.
Secondly, I would end my day and give an account of it. I wasn’t told to do it. I don’t know where I learned it either. But I just felt the need to have someone else weigh in on my day-to-day activities. Reporting my life, whatever I did (decisions relevant to my walk, places I went, plans and the likes), to two people every day, saved me a lot. I shared out of curiosity what they’d say.
There were times I didn’t want to talk but I knew that I couldn’t only listen to sermons because there is nothing more powerful than getting someone else’s perspectives on what to do with your life daily. Conversations are lifesavers.
Alongside reporting myself to two people every day, I would also book a flight to Albany and be in a physical meeting with other worshippers at least once every month.
I learned to ask God, “Is this part of your yoke for my life?” I learned that early. By the grace of God, I started desiring a leadership position but was advised against it.
Those things helped me to grow because that would have hindered my growth as well. Just pouring out too much and not allowing God to pour into you is indeed a huge problem.
What’s one fun fact about you?
I love soccer.